About helendauka

I used to write a lot and now I hardly ever write. I think I write bad now? On the flip side, I used to be very bad at being an adult and now I'm a little better at being an adult. Let's try to balance this equation out.

I keep writing because you keep reading.

So if you want to be with me
With these things, there’s no telling
We just have to wait and see
But I’d rather be working for a paycheck
Than waiting to win the lottery
Beside, maybe this time is different?
I mean, I really think you like me.

 

 

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The Reset Button

I choose happiness each day.
I may be a little scared of being yelled at, at being misunderstood, of being judged.
I’ll practice a little of my own self care that I’ve let slip. I’ll clean my house, I’ll do my dishes. I’ll water my plants. I’ll take Moses on a hike that will make us both feel better. I’ll go to see my parents. I’ll get off the grid. I’ll watch tv with my dad, a show called Yellowstone. They know I am upset. I get a text from my dad that says luv ya. I’ll take moses on a walk through their woods with the other dogs. I’ll sit on the back porch with my zillionth cup of coffee and try to bury myself into my paper. I’ll get back to Akron and meal prep. Because I ate nuts and fruit and bread all week. I need to cook. I need to reset my own button.

I still believe in the spark I felt with you. The spark we had, I haven’t had since I was in high school. Laying in your bed, laughing and talking. I don’t know if I fucked things up to ever be able to get back to that space of laying and laughing in your bed, feeling safe. Is there a reset button we can push for us? I’m not sure. But it was special enough that I want to find out.

But I need to reset myself first.

Back at it again.

I remember when I started posting my Free Writing posts on my wordpress. Sharing those personal thoughts on a public platform gave me a little rush. Here were thoughts that rarely left my mouth, that I struggled to express and now anyone could see them. So in that way, it felt like a relief to not be harboring so many secrets in my brain.

For the most part, the posts from 2017 actually weren’t that helpful for me. I tried doing them because that’s what I was supposed to do in counseling.

I have a mixed bag of feelings knowing someone else has read them. Anxious because I don’t know how much was read and I don’t want to go back and read the posts because some of them are cringeworthy, but also, because it hasn’t been long enough for me, I’m not ready to go back to read them.

Not knowing how much has been read also makes me a little paranoid because it feels a little like I’m not n control of how I am perceived (even though the blog is my expression of myself of which I was in complete control).

But you know what, you were right, I am flattered that you took the time to read my blog. That you wanted to get to know me better.
I’m done talking about my blog. Now I’m just going to write in my blog.

I feel so comfortable spending time with you. I don’t remember the last time someone has made me laugh so much on a date. I have a lot of fun talking to you. I don’t like talking about my feelings. And I’m having so much fun talking to you I don’t want to mess things up. Like as soon as we talk about feelings, some haze will lift and you’ll realize you actually don’t like me. And then it will be done.

I humor a hoe-tation for one real reason. It helps to keep me from getting feelings for one person. Because if I don’t have feelings for someone , I can’t get my feelings hurt.
But I want to have feelings for you, I already do. I understand if you are still seeing people. But I would have to pretend that it wouldn’t make me a little sad.

As much as I don’t want to talk about my feelings I also don’t want to pretend that I don’t have them. Especially when they are happy feelings. You make me happy.

February’s Library Haul

It is with much excitement I begin writing this post: I have finished a haul before the end of the month! Yay for small victories! I wish I could credit my success to an increased reading speed but no. It is because my haul was small and primarily from the teen fiction section. But still, I count this as victory and credit my success to choosing a responsible number of books and learning to manage my time better. I did a surprising amount of soul searching this month and racked up all sorts of personal development. I took a delve into figuring out why I’m drawn towards material meant for teens, new directions I can take my writing and this blog, and how all of this circles back to where I’m headed as an adult. Here we go!

Divergent, Veronica Roth Have you seen this movie?  Have you seen Theo James?? I’m not even going to pretend that he’s not 100% the reason I needed to read the book, so that I could keep the image of him in my mind until the sequel hits theaters. Since I’m in this series purely for the mental image of his hot bod, my review is that…. Four, played by Theo James, reads just as well on paper. Divergent is an easy read about a dystopian society. Not the best of the teen dystopian genre, but not bad. I took Divergent with me on a delightful camping trip with a group a friends. The night before the camping trip, I had a terrible falling out with one of my friends so emotionally, I felt pretty shitty. While I didn’t hit my existential stride of analyzing my teen self versus my adult self, this book set those wheels into motion. In other news, my dear friend Sarah is reading this series along with me. Ahh yes, people are jumping on my book club bandwagon. Looking for Alaska, John Green My least favorite of John Green’s work so far. I initially thought it may have been because I was getting burned out on John, which was a depressing thought for me. I started to really recognize themes in John’s stories. Looking for Alaska has the dorky protagonist teen that starts out a little withdrawn but comes into his own through a series of hijinks and adventures, largely inspired by a free-spirited girl who has amazing looks, fierce intellect, but some character flaws that cause her to be emotionally detached (by choice) and reckless. The main character Pudge, says to Alaska (the girl), something along the lines of ‘you’re a mystery sometimes,’ to which she responds, ‘that’s the point.’ Damn, if that doesn’t echoes my reviews of Paper Towns! I think I started getting tired of hearing John write from a teenage male perspective that focuses so much on a female character. But during this novel, I really started to delve into that my existential stride of analyzing my teen self versus my adult self that I mentioned above. In these teen fiction novels, I read about these characters having these huge philosophical internal monologues. I read as they develop their outlook on the world. These teens of fiction make major decisions of personal mentality and I can vaguely remember doing the same things. I tried to take myself back to a time before I had been permanently marked and changed by experiences and people, some good and some bad. I tried to think back to before I had so many tallies of hurting other people and being a piece of emotional baggage they have to carry around. Look forward to a blog post about returning to my teen roots soon. Also, the version of this book had a FAQ with John and discussion questions from him too. If you can, I suggest finding this version! The Fault In Our Stars, John Green I’ve watched this movie countless times and have cried countless tears each time. I resisted reading the book because I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to feel the feels as intensely. I WAS WRONG. I was delighted at the added depth of the book compared to the movie. I was excited to see how John did writing as a female character. He didn’t do bad, but he also didn’t take me to that teen place in my heart. But lord, did he write some absolutely beautiful words. The universe demands to be noticed. Pain demands to be felt. Some infinities are bigger than others. Gah, read the book watch the movie trust me. Note to Self, Samara O’Shea I thought that it would be fitting to read a book about journaling while reading all these teen books. I foolishly thought journaling went hand in hand with being a teen. Oh yeah, I still keep a journal as an adult. Oops. O’Shea offers really great tips on how to journal with suggestions on style, to subject, to frequency of entries. She shares her own journal entries from her teen years to late twenties. It’s a really insightful and practical read. I got some great advice on stream of consciousness writing, documenting personal experiences/emotions and am revisiting the idea of keeping a handwritten journal. I have been journaling since I was in middle school but stopped keeping a handwritten journal after high school. Still toying with that idea because I always get ideas of things I want to write down in the most random of places (AKA places other than when I’m in front of my computer). Get ready for the new haul…………….

As always,  I want to hear your thoughts! And your book recommendations! Bonus Question: Do you journal? Do you diary?

January’s Library Haul: Gifted Edition

Oh what a way to start off the year! While January’s haul may have been a little bit light, it in no way reflects what has been happening in my life! I’ve always thought that books have a way of coming into your life exactly when you need them, and this haul reaffirmed my belief. Having fewer books was a real relief as it gave me more time to focus on two major life developments: I became the Vice President of the Akron Rugby Women’s team and I also got a new job at Keep Akron Beautiful as their Communications and Volunteer Project Manager (my dream job!).

These books still managed to create a meaningful experience in my life and I will always be grateful to my wonderful mother & beautiful friend for gifting them to me.

The Kite Runner, Khaled Hosseini
I had no idea that this was going to be my favorite book of the haul. In fact, I had no idea this book was going to creep into my overall ‘favorite books’ category. The Kite Runner is a beautiful book about not so beautiful things. Reading this book was really eye opening for me in regards to the culture of Afghanistan and that of refuges and immigrants. Hosseini writes of an Afghanistan before it was ravaged by war and conflict and I have a better understanding of the culture.

As I mentioned in one of my earlier blogs, I’m still working on accepting books whose main characters aren’t all that likeable and at times, Hosseini’s narrator does pretty terrible things. But this book was somehow an easy read which I can only attribute to Hosseini’s writing because seriously, some of the book gets pretty heavy.

Yes Please, Amy Poehler
Talk about a book coming into your life at the right time! Being able to read Yes Please while I was in the middle of the interview process for my new job was such a relief. I’ve always identified Amy Poehler as a strong, female role model and that’s exactly the type of voice I want to be reading to add to my self-pep-talking arsenal.

Unfortunately, I was a little disappointed with her book. She lets readers know off the bat that, “writing a book is hard.” And you can tell at times she struggled to write it. To me, some parts of her book felt rushed. You can tell where she really took the time to tell the story and where she just knew what she wanted to say but didn’t take time to really say it. It’s really apparent to me when she quickly name drops whole paragraphs of celebrities.

It also didn’t always feel like she knew what her book was really about. Like she had all of these separate pieces and tried to string them together for a cohesive book. I wish someone had reminded her that this didn’t have to be her only opportunity to write a book, that she didn’t have to do it all in this one go.

Not saying that I didn’t enjoy the book. I definitely found myself laughing out loud at times. My favorite was the chapter on apologies. See there? I just did it, rushing through to say what I want to say without really saying it. Note the difference between this paragraph and the ones above it.

Also, my best friend Sarah listened to the audio book had had really positive things to say!

Wild, Cheryl Strayed
Had this book not been gifted to me, I would not have read it. I was even skeptical of wanting to watch the movie. I had a hard time reading Wild, the story of Strayed’s hike on the Pacific Crest Trail. One of my other reader’s flaws in addition to having a hard time with books whose characters aren’t likeable is having a hard time with books that spend a lot of time on scenery.

The time between Cheryl on the trail and Cheryl interacting with people or retelling details about her past drug on for me. Even though I bawled during the beginning of the book, I would not recommend this book for others to read.

But hey, I’m going camping this weekend and I’d be lying if I didn’t say it put me in the right mindset! It also taught me while hiking long distances, 7 pees/day is a good ratio to strive for!

And now, February’s Haul!

As always, If you’ve read any of the haul, let me know what you thought! Got a recommendation for something you think I’d like? I want to know! I own all of January’s Haul if anyone would like to take out a loan at the Library of Helen!

BONUS QUESTION:  What’s the best book anyone’s ever given you?

The Library Haul Club: December

I have been so excited to wrap up December’s haul for so many reasons! For one, I have accrued quite a bit of late fees on this haul. I should have made returning my books on time part of my New Year’s Resolution. I also read SO MANY good books, I couldn’t wait to write about them. Finally, I was gifted a few books over the holidays, which I’m pretty jazzed to start reading them.

📚December library haul 📚

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So here we go!

December’s Library Haul

Paper Towns, John Green
John Green has quickly ascended to the role of my favorite human alive. Not familiar with John? He wrote The Fault In Our Stars and does Mental Floss videos. I mean, he’s so much more than that, but I think the journey of discovering John Green is half the fun. I had to travel to the teen section of the library (womp womp womp) to find John. People, I paved the way to the teen section so you, as adults, (or at least people older than 19) can travel forth without fear of embarrassment. Paper Towns is getting turned into a movie and should be in theaters around June of this year. I finished this book in a day. An easy, quick, enjoyable read. For being a man in his 30’s, John really captures what youth feels like. Or felt like. He creates this really vivid world that his characters live in. Gives them their own culture that is as unique as the adventure he sends them on.

Margo, one of John’s main characters, is this high school girl, the epitome of cool, always going on some adventure that borders on being illegal. She is her own brand of weird and captivates the general high school populous. There’s something about Margo that is so captivating but you can’t ever put your finger on her because she’s a bit of a mystery. That’s really a huge thing in the book, the mystery of Margo.

It feels like I’ve seen movies where the girl is the love interest to a dude who mainly wants her because of the way he sees her, as a mystery. Usually in those movies, it’s never about the girl. It’s about the guy wanting the girl. John Green takes you through that sort of cliche but makes this really awesome point that Margo is a mystery because she doesn’t want to be a mystery for the sake of anyone else.

Margo plays a huge part in the book, but I’d say the book is more about friendship than romance. Also, Radar is my favorite character.

The Atheist’s Guide to Christmas, Robin Harvie & Stephanie Meyers
Okay, I only now realized that this book was edited by Stephanie Meyers. You know, the author of the Twilight series. Yeesh I feel like I’m late to my own party. So a little disclaimer: I do not identify as an atheist. Not that it matters. I get to be a bit of a grinch around Christmas time and it always makes me feel better when I have someone to grinch with.
I only got halfway through this book before Christmas was over. After that, I guess I didn’t need the book anymore.
I did enjoy reading it. Some of the pieces on how to celebrate the holidays were funny. But other were legitimately thought provoking. They questioned holiday traditions and how they tied into religion and there were some sections about science too. Some sections were a bit zaney, but I wasn’t reading to be converted, just reading to experience a non-Christmas crazed world.

Bad Feminist, Roxane Gay (not pictured)
This has been one of my favorite books to date (even after all my John Green rambling). When Roxane Gay writes, it’s like what I imagine having an older sister is like. Her writing kneels down, so she’s on your level, and explains these big concepts that aren’t easy to pin point, by coloring them in with flawed, human stories. That’s kind of her take on feminism. Her collection of essays are framed around the concept that feminism and feminist icons get put up on a pedestal but as soon as that icon slips up, we tear her down and count it as a set back to the feminist movement instead of letting that icon be flawed and human. Roxane analyzes really up to date pop culture topics, like as recently as 2013. You don’t have to scratch your head to remember what thing in the news she’s talking about.

That is, unless you wait too long to heed this book recommendation.

Will Grayson, Will Grayson, John Green & David Levithan
More John Green! And some other guy. So if Paper Towns was a trip down TeenMemoryLane this book takes you to Teen Memory City USA. I loved this book even though it was almost too teen for me. There are some really angsty teens and a decent portion of the book is written in the form of AOL messages.

Every other chapter is written from the perspective of a Will Grayson (there are two, as the title suggests). My friends who haven’t read John Green assume all his books will make them cry an ocean thanks to The Fault in Our Stars. I feel partially responsible for making sure they get the right impression of John, though really, how could you go wrong. So I shy away from recommending this as the first read.

My Custom Van, Michael Ian Black
I said in the last Haul post, I would mention more of MIB’s accolades. Even though I’m tired and it’s almost 2 am, after reading two books by MIB, I know his ego would love to read, even from a miniscule blog such as my own, about how great he is. Michael Ian Black has acted in movies like Wet Hot American Summer, the Baxter, and the E! show, Burning Love. He starred in a show on Comedy Central called Michael & Michael Have Issues (linked to my favorite skit). He was also in the comedy trio Stella.

In My Custom Van, MIB is present in almost all off the chapters. Always asserting himself into hypothetical situations like, how he would explain why he colored his dick with highlighter yellow sharpie. But he’s not present in the same way as in his second book. Again, a funny book though. A lot of the jokes hit their stride from lasting longer than you expect them to.
I should have read the first book first! You’re Not Doing It Right was equally funny, but better. Because in his second book, you get to know Michael as a person, not just as the jokes. I mean, you always get jokes, you just get so much more in his second book. You see his struggles and flaws. It’s like, why would you only want part of a person, once you’ve had the whole hilarious, messy thing?

The Polysyllabic Spree, Nick Hornby
As I described in the first Haul post, part of my book selection involves wandering through the library, picking books at random. What are the chances I would pick a book about reviewing books. I had no idea until I started reading it either. It’s like the the strings of my fate & destiny are thinly strung throughout the Akron-Summit Library.
Nick Hornby is a British columnist who writes about all the books he’s bought and the ones he’s managed to read. His column wasn’t always just about the book review. It was more about the journey he went on with the books and how the book fit into his life. I hope that reading his book has somewhat rubbed off on my reviewing skills.
One of my favorite things that Nick said was, “we are never allowed to forget that some books are badly written; we should remember that sometimes they’re badly read too.”

I try to remind myself of that when my mind starts wandering from the page and before I know it, I’ve finished a chapter without retaining anything, but having completely thought out a message I’m going to send on OKCupid. I made sure to go back and reread his chapters that I glossed. I probably wouldn’t recommend this to most people, even though I learned from this book and got a lot of his recommendations for future reads. BUT if you do check The Polysyllabic Spree out from the Akron Summit Library and you find a book whose pages 15-18 don’t want to stay attached to their spine, you’ll know that our strings of destiny & fate briefly overlapped.

One Way to Write Short Stories
As I mentioned in the last Haul post, I didn’t finished this book. Something else Nick taught me: It’s okay to abandon some books.
January will be a little different. The load is a little lighter and didn’t involve going to the library. A few lovely people gifted me my next haul!

As always, If you’ve read any of the haul, let me know what you thought! Got a recommendation for something you think I’d like? I want to know!
BONUS: My AOL screen name was Blink182helen. What was yours?

Lilly Pulitzer is coming to Target

Two of my loves: Target & spring patterns. Admittedly, I had never heard of Lilly Pulitzer before Target announced she would be their next big designer collaboration. But discovering ms.Pulitzer was exactly what I needed on this dismal Ohio winter day.
The extended ‘warm’ weather we had into December and even a little into January helped me perpetuate my mindset that winter won’t be that bad.

WRONG WRONG WRONG.
You can only stave off realtiy for so long. I hate winter and especially hate winter fashion. Seeing Lilly’s patterns reminded me of who I am in terms of style & reminded me that winter won’t last forever. And there are patterns on the other end.

Lilly hits Target on April 19th. Until then I will remind myself to hold off on doing any style revamp (especially on my apartment), because the patterns will not only be on clothes but in home decor! Eeeeee!!!!!! 🙂

lilly pulitzer prints

If you know me IRL, you probably realize these prints are brighter, busier and more colorful than anything I normally wear. You would be 100% accurate. I still love them. I still fantasize about them. It’s similar to my love for Betsy Johnson. I never have an occasion to wear her shit. I describe her audience as spoiled tweens or my delusional 60 year old ex-landlord (and me in my fantasy other life).

True confession: My Bestey Johnson watch is one of my favorite possessions and I never leave my apartment without it.

img-thing

Mine is in rose gold, but I love this watch!

But whatever, I dress in all neutrals (black, khaki, white & navy) because I like having a blank canvas to add a pop of color.
This winter it’s been a red-orange (lip, scarf, or clutch). I honestly don’t think it goes well with my red hair but damn if it doesn’t make me feel that much more bold.

💋

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P.S. if anyone has any tips for looking fabulous in the winter, please let me know. I can never figure out shoes. Ones that will make it through the snow and be appropriate in the office. Are y’all changing your shoes when you get inside?? HELP.

The Library Haul Club

Back in November, I decided I wanted to start reading more. For a slew of reasons, but mainly it was because I got the idea that all the time I spent on the internet was hindering my creativity.  I felt like I spent so much time consuming miniscule bits of media that I was just wasting time. I would get trapped in k-hole of internet that wasn’t productive.

So that’s not really a revelation that’s unique to me,  I’m sure.
I was also thinking about how two years ago I was writing constantly. Being a writer was something I identified with and I was proud of what I made. I figured reading and writing go hand in hand.

If you haven’t ventured to the Main Akron-Summit Library, GET YOURSELF THERE. The main library is a beautiful place with so much to explore and convenient parking. Because convenient parking is important to me when picking up a new hobby.

I have since done two library hauls. This is my method of choosing books: I go to the library with a vague sense of the type of book I want (feminism, comedy, essays, fiction) or an author, or a recommendation someone gave me. I track down that book. Then, I wander the shelves. Which is the best part. Because before I know it I have a stack of books as long as my arms, which is my cue it’s time to stop.

For the record, I can fit 6-7 books comfortably in one arm which is why my hauls will consistently be 6-7 books.

If your New Year’s Resolution was to read more, join the club! (like,,,,, literally).
I post my hauls to my Instagram account if you’re just curious about what I’m reading. But here I’m going to do a mini review (aiming for no spoilers).

I can totally read 7 books in 2 weeks.

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November’s Book Haul
**My reviews may be a bit fuzzy since I read them a while ago and am just getting caught up.. Oops.

Not That Kind of Girl, Lena Dunham
I bought this book prior to my book haul but wanted to include it anyways because I was still reading it. Lena Dunham is the creator of Girls, a show that runs on HBO. A lot of people have feelings about Lena Dunham. If you have bad feelings about Lena Dunham, this probably won’t change your mind. Some people have a hard time relating to her show because its characters live in a very specific world that is realistic to a narrow range of people. I relate to Dunham & her show & her book because I identify with the emotional struggles and milestones that Dunham has experienced. Dunham’s chapter on Barry rang very true to me in particular.

Not That Kind of Girl is written as a self-help type book. It reads like Dunham took her collection of essays and figured out how to make some vague lesson out of them. Like her experiences are acting as the lessons. I found Dunham’s book to be pretty self absorbed, which didn’t make me like it any less. Sure, she’s self absorbed, but her life is kind of interesting, sometimes her feelings are relate-able and there is no absence of love for the people in her life.

Don’t Count the Candles, Just Keep Them Lit!, Joan Rivers
Switch to a different type of self help book. Joan states very early on that if you are under the age of 30, you don’t need to be reading her book. I did anyways because I am a rebel. Joan wrote this in the late 90’s so some of her advice on staying young is dated–she talks about interior design trends & surgery/medications trends– and can be easily skimmed over. But there are some seriously good pieces of advice that everyone could benefit from. My favorite was Joan’s suggestion that surrounding yourself with a variety of age groups will keep you vibrant and dynamic.

Also, she talks about sex after 40, 50, 60+ which is really interesting and not as weird as you’d imagine.

And the Heart Says Whatever, Emily Gould
The similarities between Gould & Dunham stack up. They both grew up with well-to-do parents, both writing, both in essay format, both struggling to live their 20’s in NYC, both attending liberal arts school in Ohio, both having a tendency to put it all on the table when it comes to their personal lives.

The major difference is Emily Gould does not seem like a nice person, at all. I enjoyed her book of essays which is weird because I usually don’t like stories whose main character is unlikable. I’ll count this as a personal break through.

Gould comes off as self-centered as she goes through each essay, hurting someone, acknowledging that her actions are hurting others, and moving on. And it repeats in the next essay. She recognizes her behavior. And she doesn’t care to change it.

It was great to read these three books in the order that I did because it’s a nice contrast of two self-help novels-one for the young, one for the old, and then throw in there a collection of essays from the less optimistic side of the 20-something pond.
This is a Book, Demetri Martin (not pictured)
LOVE.LOVE.LOVE. I audibly laughed out loud while reading. So Demetri Martin is really smart. He was going to Harvard to be a lawyer and dropped out to do stand-up. I think you could have two reactions to Demetri: you could think, this is stupid why did you make a book. OR you could think, like I did, god dammit I wish I had thought of this. Including a link of Martin talking about his stint in law school.

I Found This Funny, Judd Apatow
Judd Apatow is the man behind Freaks & Geeks, Undeclared, the 40 Year Old Virgin, This is 40, Knocked Up and also works with Lena on Girls. This book is a compilation of humorous writings initially brought together to benefit a charity, 826 National. I wonder if the charity benefits from how frequently the book is checked out from the library. Judd admits,  not all the selections are funny. And he’s right, they’re not all funny. BUT it’s worth reading because there are more funny bits than not.

My Inappropriate Life, Heather McDonald
Heather McDonald is a comedian who frequented the Chelsea Lately round table and spin-off show, After Lately. She is known on the show for loving celebrities and openly reaching for fame. Heather gets made fun of a lot for this, but whatever. It works for her because she knows and is friends with the Kardashians.. like gets invited to their parties.

My Inappropriate Life is Heather’s second book, following You’ll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again. Heather is a mother of 2… no 3 young children and is married to a dude that loves to golf. Sometimes, this book drug on for me, maybe because I have a low tolerance for tales of marriage and children, but Heather is crazy enough that it stays entertaining. The thing about a book of essays is that each chapter has to stand on its own. It’s not like fiction where the author creates this character’s life and the reader has to move page to page to find out what happens. An essay is a mini story in and while all the essays in a book tend to be connected somehow, I think that a reader could stop reading in the middle of the book and be content with where the main characters fate has left off. I kept going through the book but I could have stopped and been okay leaving Heather where she was.

You’re Not Doing It Right, Michael Ian Black
Another follow-up book! MIB is a comedian/actor and I would love to list all his accomplishments but I’m getting tired of writing and his first book is in my next haul, so I’ll give him more time then. MIB has a similar theme to Heather’s book: marriage & children.
Something that was nice in this book that differs from Heather’s is that there is an obvious struggle happening throughout each chapter. MIB struggles to overcome being an asshole in order to be a good husband and father. Sometimes, him just being an asshole is hilarious. Other times you can see it’s causing problems (even though it’s still funny). Also, I’d say that MIB never stops being an asshole to solve his problems, just becomes a different type of asshole. At the end of the day, I went back to the library for MIB’s first book, not Heathers’s.
One Way to Write Short StoriesI’m going to be honest. I only got to the second chapter in this book even after I moved it to my second haul. Sometimes it’s okay to give up on a book.

So that was November! I’m almost done with December’s Haul, and will post the review section for it later. For now, here’s what’s on deck

📚December library haul 📚

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If you’ve read any of the haul, let me know what you thought! Got a recommendation for something you think I’d like? I want to know!

“I’ll never leave you again.”- me to my blog.

Where has the time gone? It’s been almost a year since I’ve taken to my keyboard and unleashed something on to the internet.
So what happened? Well I graduated. I didn’t have a class I was required to blog for. I didn’t have a school newspaper as an outlet. And I landed a job that didn’t give a shit whether I used social media or not.

Knowing people were reading what I wrote gave me a rush and when I stopped having a platform where people would pay attention to me, I lost a little incentive.

But I also lost one of the best hobbies to come into my life. I lost the enjoyment and growth that came from each post. I lost something that was mine and no one else.

So I’m picking it up again. But things are different this time. I am different. As always, I will strive to be as candid as possible. Things probably won’t feel like articles, but rather more like personal essays. Before, I would have most likely been too self conscious to write anything that was so obviously self absorbed. But I don’t really care. I think I’m hilarious, insightful and interesting, despite this being my only hobby. 

What have I been doing for the past year?

I’ve been living alone in a new apartment. I realized I am in love with not just Ohio, but Akron specifically. I got a job at a health foods store doing grass roots marketing yet my diet has managed to have gotten worse. I adopted a puggle pup and spend most of my free time picking up fluff he’s ripped out of some toy. I use rabbit ears on my tv and consequently spend my Friday nights watching Dateline NBC. I have ventured into the world of online dating via OkCupid and attempt to hide my embarrassment when a coworker somehow catches on to my private life. I met my soulmate and experienced a connection I had daydreamed about since I was in middle school. Shortly after, I had my heart shattered into a million pieces. It was only fitting that I wrote a slew of middle school esque weepy diary entries.

At this point in my life, I work every day not to be a cynic.