I haven’t done an entry in what feels like a while. But I don’t think I have anything good to say. And when I’m struggling to push through the day, stopping to think about how shit everything is doesn’t really sound like something I want to do. I wish I didn’t have to live this life. Like, I wish I could wake up and have another version of my life or someone else’s. But I know this is what I am stuck with. I hate it so much and it makes me hate each of my days. Because I feel like no matter what I do, I still have another shit day waiting for me, and anything I do doesn’t really matter. I am trapped. And it’s hard because I just want it all to stop but I know that won’t help anything. So I have to keep trying and working harder if I want anything to change. But I just want everything to stop. I want to sleep.